Monday, March 20, 2017

Pregnancy #2

We are expecting another baby! I'm 15 weeks along, and we recently found out that baby #2 is another boy!

It's pretty amazing how different each pregnancy is. Not just physically different, but mentally and emotionally too. With my first I was so excited about every little milestone. I diligently watched the week-by-week growth videos on my pregnancy app, I had all of the 1st trimester miscarriage worries that most mama's go through, and I felt like my entire brain was in a fog for the whole 9 months because I was so focused on growing that baby, and then getting him out. This time things are way more laid back. The first trimester was physically harder on me than it was with my first (more nauseous, more tired, etc.), but I wasn't nearly as stressed out. Every now and then I look online to see how much progress has been made, but I do not feel the need to check it every single week. I am not spending hours a day googling topics like breastfeeding, labor and delivery, and baby gear. On one hand it feels nice to be able to take a been-there-done-that approach to having another child, but on the other hand it makes me sad that all of those "firsts" have already been experienced. I will never again have the same exciting feelings that I had with my son. Don't get me wrong, we are absolutely thrilled to be going through all of this again, and we are thrilled that Ashton will be getting a little brother, but that same thrill that came with the first ultrasound just wasn't there. I'd done it before. 

That said, there are a whole host of new blessings and challenges ahead for us. I've heard that going from one to two children is an extremely difficult transition, and I'm definitely nervous about it. With Noah training into a new job (and just starting that job around my due date), I know he won't get to be as hands on during the first few weeks as he was with Ashton. The responsibility of caring for our toddler and newborn will fall squarely on my shoulders for the most part of everyday, and I'm going to have to learn how to manage it without falling apart. Wish me luck y'all! And if you have any advice for going from a mama of one to a mama of two, please share! 

Quick 2016 Recap

It's already March 2017, but because I barely posted anything last year I've decided to do a quick look back on everything that's happened. 
My little guy is growing so much! Everyday he gets more independent and feisty, and everyday I am more in awe of the little blessing that he is. He's walking, he's saying a few words, he's rough-housing with his cousins, he keeps us on our toes! Oh, and did I mention that I'm expecting again?! Baby #2 (another BOY!) arrives September, 2017 and we couldn't be more excited about it. My pregnancy hasn't been as easy this time as it was the first time around, but I recognize that it could be so much worse as well.  

As of right now I am in California living with my parents while Noah attends tech school in Florida. Y'all remember the drama that was his time in Air Traffic Control, right? Well we are so relieved to be done with that phase of life and onto bigger and better things for our family. He's currently in the process of training for Non-Destructive Inspection, and we are so looking forward to settling down at our new duty station in Arizona. I technically could have stayed in Georgia while he cross-trained, but we felt that financially it made more sense for us to pack up the house, and for me to stay with my parents until we are ready to head to AZ together. Speaking of AZ, we are going through the motions of purchasing our first home together! Our original plan was to live on base (which is all we have ever done in our 4 years of Air Force life), but as we got around to calculating everything out we realized that it made more sense financially to buy a home. We are so excited about the prospect of home ownership, and I cannot wait to get to AZ to really start shopping. 

Obviously I cannot fit an entire year's worth of information into one post, but those are the highlights of what's been going on in our lives! 

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Dusting off this here blog...

It's been almost a year since I last posted anything on here, and let's be honest, I struggled with frequent updates even before then. 

A few weeks ago I was visiting a friend and she asked me how the blogging was going. Through my excuses (lack of motivation, too busy taking care of my son, too much going on in my day to day life, etc.) I started to really dig down deep into why I gave up something that I loved doing so much. Honestly, I've been pretty afraid of continually putting myself out there for ridicule. One of my biggest fears in life is public embarrassment, and this blog has brought me just that in the past, and it's made me afraid to keep sharing my life in this way. You may remember me talking about a beautiful picture of my husband and I being taken from this blog, turned into a humiliating meme intended to hurt military spouses, and then subsequently spread all over Facebook. That time in my life cut me so deep that I don't think I've 100% recovered from it. This is also why I don't want to add a link to that post... I don't want to dig all of that junk back up again. In most ways I'm "over it," but sometimes the emotions from that situation bubble to the surface, and I hurt a little bit all over again. To this day I still do not understand why anyone would do something so hurtful. It's therapeutic for me to hash all this out in a post, and hopefully it will help y'all better understand why I've been distant for the last year+.  

But here's the thing, I'm starting over. I want to start writing again. I want to have this place as an outlet for the hardships of military life, and I want to share the day-to-day happenings of our growing family. I've missed it! So for the next few days, maybe weeks, I'm going to start cleaning this place up and removing the signs of neglect. I started this blog when I was only 19 years old, and now at age 23 I'm ready to make some changes to this space to reflect how I've grown. I'm starting over, and I am so excited about it!